I've done a lot of thinking about drinking since lockdown began. Of course when it first started, we were party hardy, drinking quarantinis and just relishing not having to go in to work. But mental illnesses/mood disorders and alcohol often don’t mix, and with massive swaths of time on my hands to think, I made some discoveries.⁠

In the past, I've thought alcohol was a mood lifter for me, a way to relax and feel more at ease. Many an A/B test in lockdown have revealed that that was a misconception! I've now come to believe that for me, alcohol is an amplifier. That means if I feel bad already, alcohol will make me feel worse, and if I feel good already, alcohol will likely amp me up even more.⁠ ⁠ So if I've had a bad day, a drink to relax is a terrible idea. And if I've had a good day, a celebratory night cap is probably fine.⁠

But another thing I discovered about alcohol is that while I frequently wish I hadn't drunk, I almost never wish I had. Have I ever come home/woken up and thought, man I wish I had had alcohol. I don't think so!⁠

So I made this chart to track those feelings. It can be used for anything you're wondering about your relationship to, not just booze! Wondering e.g. if you really love watching SVU all day, or if it's something you'd like to move away from? You can use this chart for that too, haha.⁠

Note: I am not a health professional! If you need to, reach the national substance abuse hotline at 1-800-662-HELP.⁠ xx⁠ ⁠ ⁠